Mari Boyd, MA, LMFT
Marriage Counseling: We Can Work This Out
Do you need marriage therapy?
Relationships are great, fun, happy, complicated, and hard even under the best of circumstances. There are many reasons to seek help to improve your relationship.
Marriage therapy, or relationship counseling, is not just to be considered for a pending separation. Some couples seek counseling when they have reached a point in their relationship where things just are not working between them. There is often so much pain and misunderstanding between them that communication has broken down. Counseling is often seemed like a last resort to save or possibly to end the marriage. Other couples seek counseling because they want to improve their relationship and gain new tools to move forward in their lives.
Marriage and relationship counseling is something that can be utilized at many points in your relationship, particularly during times of transition:
- Parenting years
- Career changes
- Medical issues
- Empty nest
- And more...
How can marriage therapy help your relationship?
There is no “magic” that will instantly help a marriage. It will take hard work and commitment. It will require that each person look at their own faults and issues, taking accountability for their part in any problems. In that way, marriage is the best chance we have in this life to transform ourselves.
Marriage therapy and relationship counseling will provide instruction, support & accountability as a couple moves through their issues. It will also provide affirmation (and often cheer leading) as a couple grows and becomes stronger in their roles as partners.
One of my roles as a relationship therapist is to provide hope for couples. In a world where so many marriages and relationships do not survive, marriage therapy can encourage the couple to keep fighting for their relationship. Couples need to know that many marriages do not only survive, but thrive with continued intentional work.
What are the most common concerns?
The most common concern I hear is that one person in the relationship is not listening to the other person. "Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen." If you are in a relationship you may have heard these words. Many times, one person is a 'fixer' while all the other person wants is a sympathetic ear to listen to their problems.
The top three issues that couples struggle with in their relationships are communication, sex and finances. Really, they all come back to communications -- or lack of communications. Together, we can work on how to work on getting better at communications and the underlying issues you are struggling with.
View the video below to learn the importance of listening rather than fixing problems.